Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
