I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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