Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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