He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize