I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Randomize
