We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
