the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
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Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize