Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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