As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Randomize