Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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