i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
