i would punch a child for taco bell
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
