it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
