we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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