no. you can't hotbox the world.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
