The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
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When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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