My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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