I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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