There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
