Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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