I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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