areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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