on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
