I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
