so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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