Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
