I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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