I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize