I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
