I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
