doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize