I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
