69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
