yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
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His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
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Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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