Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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