Where are you?
In a non slutty way
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
