You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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