Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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