My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
