dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
