I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
