so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
