you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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