We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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