you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Come share oat with me in your robe
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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