kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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