At least make sure they are 18
Why
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
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