The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
