there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
