Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
