It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
