What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
