once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
