Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
