Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
birth control should be required to get into college
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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