if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
