On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize