I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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