my sisters under your porch take her home
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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