exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
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He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
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I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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