i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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